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Banned Clothes
Clothes that should be banned besides the burqa:
Speedos -- No one needs to see that
Fanny Packs -- Yes, even on tourists
Fedoras -- Thousands of people wears this so they can be unique
Pajama bottoms in public -- Life is not a sleep over
Vertical stripes on fat people -- Myth that it is thinning
Rubber shoes -- Have no traction in the rain
Ninja outfits -- So Muslim women don't just switch to this
Pirate outfits -- Can't let them win against ninjas
Shoe on one foot with no sock and on the other a sock and no shoe -- Saw this once in a bus station. Freaked me out.
Hemp Clothes washed in organically pure detergent -- Amuses me to get Hippies to use Tide
Ironic eye-patch -- Can't even let the pirates have this one
Red String on wrist -- Demeaning to people with evil eyes
Anything with Abercrombie & Fitch logo -- I'm just getting mad with power now
Any bling that weights more than 5 pounds -- Especially that Gino guy in the Mudflap girl tracksuit with a gold crucifix that covered most of his torso
Jew Beanies -- So weren't not just racist against the Arabs
Beanies with propellers -- Do these even exist anymore?
Poodle Skirt -- Satanic
School Uniforms on people 35+ years old -- You're not fooling anyone, Angus Young and cougar porn stars
Cowboy hats in the city -- If people outnumber cows, there is no need for the hat
Blue Jeans -- What? That's madness! I was with you until this point.
Fuchsia clothes -- Red is good enough
Polka dots -- Polka should only come out during Octoberfest and even then wait until we are really drunk
Gold teeth -- Wait. This isn't even clothes anymore. Anyway, it just looks like yellow teeth to me
Pantaloons -- Trousers, yes. Pantaloons, no!
Neck Tie -- Oppressive to human life and kills creativity
Wedding Rings -- Oppressive to hound dogs
Purity Rings -- Don't worry. We already know who to beat up. You don't have to signal it.
Mullets -- Again, not clothes, but wrong nevertheless
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other) wrote,
